How I Changed My Priorities In One Lunch

I had lunch with my parents today. Life is pretty busy these days and I found myself whining about work. It was the classic whine about too much work with too little time. Then my Father chirped in and said, “You have it easy son, you should try living in our shoes.” My Father is the primary caregiver for my Mom who is ill, it’s a 24 hour job and it isn’t getting any easier with time. I looked at my Dad and realized right there that his comment was spot on.

Health

Health should always be our first priority. We can have all the money and stuff in the world, but it all means nothing without our health. A little stress at work is infinitely easier to deal with than a serious health issue.

Acceptance

I have written quite a bit about positive psychology. But sometimes thinking good thoughts isn’t enough. Sometimes it’s good to accept that life isn’t always a bowl of cherries and learn to move on. It isn’t always easy, but facing reality and dealing with it is better than pretending that life is wonderful. Life throws us curves and fortunately most of the time they pass. Acceptance is a fundamental Buddhist teaching.

I went back to my lunch, stopped whining, and realized that I do have it good compared to what my parents are experiencing. And I am grateful for that, and am continuously learning to accept that life forever evolves. Life doesn’t wait for anyone.

Must reads

Top 3 goals you need to set

6 Ways To Lose Ugly Fat And Get Healthier With Quick Results

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How To Find Meaning and Purpose Overnight

A few stats and facts from Adbusters

• The Beijing Olympics were endangered by China’s dismal air quality, threatening athlete’s health.

• UN Secretary - General Ban KI-moon has named the future fight for clean water as the century’s biggest threat to humanity.

• Pesticides and chemicals on our soil are 10 times more powerful today, yet it takes 1000 years to grow an inch of soil.

• Rain forests that covered 14 percent of the Earth’s surface now cover less than 6.

• The planet is losing 30,000 species a year, the largest extinction in 65 million years.

Do our Economic experts know what they are doing?

The financial collapse was a disaster. Do we just continue listening to the government kissing Wall Street’s ass? Do our current economic models make sense? Is credit killing the quality of our lives?

What are we teaching our kids?

Are we teaching our kids in school about life or about making money? Are we teaching them about compassion, being in the present, living within our means or how to have a loving relationship? Are we teaching about the quality and beauty of human relationships?

Are we getting happier?

The United States has failed to see higher happiness since the end of the Second war. Is happiness reduced to the next generation iPod or iPhone? Are flat screens creating flat minds?

What is making your life worthwhile? What are you fighting for? Are you learning from your mistakes? Sometimes it only takes one powerful idea.

A world wide revolution is on its way. We have no choice.

We are all a part of it.

What is your one powerful idea?

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6 Ways To Lose Ugly Fat And Get Healthier With Quick Results

I have kept my weight stable over the years and have been told I look 15 years younger than my age. It’s true! Here are a few tips I try to follow.

Educate yourself

According to the Department of health and services, chronic diseases—such as cardiovascular disease (primarily heart disease and stroke), cancer, and diabetes—are among the most common, costly, and preventable of all health problems. Seven of every 10 Americans who die each year, die of a chronic disease. Kinda scary uh? Learn to eat healthier and keep your weight down. Check out the food pyramid. The food pyramid gives you great eating guidelines.

Resist buying desserts (snub them at the grocery store)

Cupcakes, muffins, pies, cakes and almost anything with white flour is full of carbohydrates and sugar. Keeping these snacks out of sight will keep them out of your mind. After a while you won’t miss those calorific snacks. Don’t forget to snub them when grocery shopping. Just drive right by! Snub!

Resist what your unhealthy friends do!

According to a study of 5,124 male and female subjects from the Framingham Heart Study (since 1948), your chances of becoming obese are very high if your friend is already obese. Your friends have a huge influence on you! Think about that.

Plan your meals

If you don`t plan your meals you will find yourself famished and staring stupidly at the inside of the fridge. All of a sudden the phone is in your hand and a large pizza is on its way. And you are delighted about the pizza, especially your stomach! Try planning meals on a Sunday. Pick out a few easy and healthy recipes. Use the leftovers as well. www.epicurious.com is a great place for recipes and the advanced search (top left hand side) provides you with easy and delicious meals.

Bring snacks to work, don’t get the fruit lazy disease

I always bring fruit (ex: apple and banana) to work during the day and have a container of almonds on my desk. That helps me stay away from the unhealthy snacks and yummy muffins (I like blueberry). Getting enough fruit in me is always a challenge and this helps immensely. I seem to be fruit lazy at night though. Need to work on that.

Treat yourself occasionally

Have a piece of dark chocolate or some other guilty pleasure to get a taste of sweetness. Nothing wrong with treating yourself once in a while. You need an indulgence for resisting all those unhealthy foods. Just don’t make it a daily habit!

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3 Proven Ways You Can Radically Change Your Life

There have been some fascinating news articles written lately about why we become fat, happy (or not), and have possibly stopped thinking for ourselves. Here are a few excellent ways to change your life for the better. Also please see the links below.

Educate yourself (learn about evolution) and your brain

My own journey towards truth and happiness began by reading about human beings, their evolution throughout the ages and also how the brain works. Why is salt, television, and smoking so common yet so bad for us? One reason is because we have let media or our friends (I’ll explain this later) influence us. How much time do you spend watching television and are you benefiting from it? Are all those McDonalds commercials good for you? How often do you read a non-fiction book? Do you understand why you have bad habits and addictions? Maybe it is because the brain actually rewires itself and the neurons and connections actually strengthen inside the brain as habits and addictions strengthen. There is nothing more important than picking up a book and educating yourself. I’ll give you a great link to a few good books and article.

Turn off the TV and advertisements

Where do you get your ideas and beliefs from? Do you get them from the television or the Internet?  Maybe you are becoming fatter, unhappy or lonely because you have not bothered to learn the scientific facts about obesity, happiness and relationships? Perhaps we are looking for a quick fix from the Internet (including Google solutions) or television and have learned to stopped thinking for ourselves. So shut off unnecessary social influences and start reading a book and talking to your friends. Talking to your friends is tremendously important to you. Here is why.

Make friends with similar interests

I told my friend about my love of small MacDonald’s hamburgers. I don’t eat them often but when I do they sure are yummy. My friend calls them “candy”. I think he is right, it is just white bread, a small piece of meat and a few condiments. Those small burgers are a small tasty snack but with almost zero nutrition. Almost like candy right?  So I don’t eat them as often. Studies have proven that our social networks and friends have a huge influence on us. In one study when one person becomes very fat, the spouse’s risk will increase 37 percent. If a friend became obese the risk to another friend went up 171%! So you see how our social networks and friends can influence us? Our habits and happiness are directly related to our social networks. We are people. We need each other. So our friends may make us happy but can be very unhealthy for us. Good idea to start thinking for yourself a bit more?

Click on these link for a few good book recommendations and a great article.

How To Overcome Addictions

The Buddy System:How Medical Data Revealed Secret To Health And Happiness.

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Are You Creating A Life Filled With Happiness, Joy And Wealth?

My website helps people create and track their “Who Am I” statement, Core Values, and Goals. It isn’t easy for people to think about these things and become introspective. It’s like avoiding the dreaded doctor’s check-up and lighting up another smoke. But I believe that finding meaning and purpose in this world is the single most important goal you can set for yourself. It all starts with your “Who Am I” statement. Who are you? Are you a father and entrepreneur? Are you an athlete and wealth builder? Are you all four? Have you decided on your future you?

Plenty of people don’t ask themselves these important questions and remain in a permanent state of denial, depending on TV, credit cards, potato chips, celebrity blogs, and kicking the dog to get them through the day. Usually it takes a dramatic life change, disaster or hitting rock bottom to wake them up and appreciate life for what it is.

Life is a continuous journey of valleys, hills and peaks. The trick is to get out and enjoy the ride and challenges along the way. Enjoy the valleys and peaks! It may mean breaking free and taking a few risks! Continuing on a consumer treadmill or watching hours of TV is a temporary superficial joy and has nothing to do with rejoicing in the wonder of  nature and being human.

I bought a new car recently and the initial euphoria of its leather seats, Bose stereo, and sunroof, has worn off for the most part. Sure it’s comfy but I haven’t really grown as a person because of it. It’s only metal on rubber wheels.

What is important to me is the meaning, purpose and hope I am creating in my life, as well as freedom, happiness, joy, compassion and love. However I am also aware that wealth creation for me can equate to freedom in life.

So don’t wait until you hit rock bottom or a disaster strikes to  finally live your dream.

My own journey continues here. I hope yours does too.

So….Who are you?

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5 Truths About Happiness And Love

I am, if anything, a seeker of truth. I continuously read, discuss, ponder and write about my journey towards truth.

What is happiness?

I think that happiness can be a rather foggy term. So I will more or less agree with the author and scientist Barbara Fredrickson and say that happiness includes these 10 traits - joy, gratitude (including reciprocity), serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement (humour), inspiration, awe (”goodness on a grand scale”), and love.

How do I become happy?

I will also agree that the happiest people experience a happiness ratio of 3-1 (Three happy thoughts to one negative). The people that are flourishing in happiness have a ratio of 5-1. I know people I work with that have 3 negative thoughts to 1 happy one. I walk in the other direction when they start complaining, whining or making sad excuses. Think about your own ratio. Any thoughts on this?

When are my happiest moments?

I’ve read a few times that having drinks and dinner with good friends can be a peak happy experience. I had a rocking dinner party with close friends last week and we had brilliant conversations, laughed to the point of crying and made damn sure we would get together again. It was a remarkable night filled with many moments of happiness traits including joy, interest, amusement and inspiration.

How do I fall in Love?

I will agree with Barbara that Love usually happens when we associate a group of happiness traits together. When one person can inspire joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration and awe in us, how can we not fall in love?

Commit to following your dream

You will be happiest pursuing goals and dreams that are intrinsic, meaningful to you and freely chosen. Intrinsic goals are pursued because they provide significance and purpose to you. They help you grow and mature. Writing this blog (and providing you a life changing tool) is a way for me to grow and find deep personal meaning and purpose. Intrinsic goals will make us happier in the long run. Writing this blog also provides me with joy, inspiration, pride, hope, amusement and even awe on occasion. Ya even awe! 

What inspires you? What gives you joy? What gives you awe?

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How To Overcome Addiction

Overcoming addiction is first and foremost about understanding addiction and then doing something about it. Read up about it, even find out how the brain changes – become very prepared to overcome.

Addictions can be overwhelming for certain people and actually rewire parts of the brain. The brain areas that regulate instinctive behaviors called the hypothalamus, and the amygdale which regulates emotion and anxiety, can both show neuron and connection alterations through addictions.

Once you fully understand some of the major traps that the mind and brain fall into, you are then educated, aware and ready to take concrete action. Some of the best actions are:

• Replace negative or addictive thoughts with pleasant ones.
• Don’t rely on sheer will power, set a goal to break a habit for 30 days and it will get easier as each day passes.
• Learn to stay in the present moment instead of worrying about the future or past.
• Let go of the ego.
• Keep on reading up on addictive behaviour. Read up on human evolution and conditioning. Seek out a few good experts and avoid instant fixes. Here are a few great resources.

The Brain That Changes Itself – Norman Doidge MD

The Mandala Of Being – Richard Moss

The Evolving Self – Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Positivity – Barbara Fredrickson

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