Stop the Self-Sabotage – How to Love Yourself

Every day, almost everywhere we look we’re bombarded with someone else’s idea of perfection. We’re told, “You need this,” “You should wear this” and “You need to be this way or that way,” but no one tells us that we’re just fine.

In this society of “whoever has the most toys wins,” no one really does.

A perfect example of self-sabotage is the story Madame Bovary. It’s a story about a woman who has it all: a loving and devoted husband, wonderful children, a beautiful house, public standing and respect, and a family who loves her dearly.

When she was young, she went to a fancy ball at a count’s home. For the rest of her life she compared everything to that one night. Nothing she ever had was enough. She cheated on her husband and ran them into debt to fill the hole in her life that she, herself, had created.

In the end, she ruined herself and her family all because nothing was ever good enough for her.

We do that to ourselves with negative thinking about our bodies, wanting more things, and trying to make ourselves something we aren’t. We watch TV and movies and see perfection: the perfect romance and the dashing hero saving the damsel, where everyone is beautiful, heroic and perfect.

That’s fiction. We need to learn to accept ourselves and enjoy the good things we have in our own lives. That’s reality and the only way to really love one’s self.

Here are a few areas where you may be comparing yourself to others. You’ll find out how to get away from the “societal norm” so you can be on your way to loving yourself for who you are.

Your Body

Hollywood would have us think that everyone is tanned, skinny, fit and has perfect hair, teeth and skin. But it’s all a facade! You can’t compare yourself to that imagined picture of beauty.

Your personal beauty comes from inside you. Write down the things that you love about yourself. If you’re overweight and unhappy about it, then do something! Change how you eat or get out and walk a little everyday. Not everyone is a supermodel, nor is everyone supposed to be.

Your Career

If you’re stuck in a job you hate, find a new one. If your work is making you physically ill, it’s time to move on. That misery you feel will carry over to the rest of your life.

Figure out what you love doing and then find a way to get paid to do it. It’s not easy, and it might not happen overnight, but if you love what you do, your entire life outlook improves.

Your Possessions

We’re bombarded with ads for stuff and they all look so amazing. We find ourselves wanting more and more things, but do we really need them? Possessions won’t fill any personal void you have or provide you with true happiness.

What is it you’re missing in your life? Figure that out and then fill that need, but be honest and realistic with yourself about it.

Your Relationship

If you’re in a healthy relationship and you’re truly in love for several decades, then you’re very blessed. In reality, as a relationship goes on for months and years, it may not be that whirlwind of romance anymore, and you can’t always expect your partner to be breathtaking.

Yet, no matter what you see on TV, a relationship always takes work and sacrifices. Think of ways to make your relationship feel new and exciting, and take joy in the fact that you have someone who loves you.

Your Past

The past is just that – the past. You can’t do anything about the past, except learn from it. You can’t base your life around a singular event no matter how great or terrible it was. All you can do is remember and learn from it.

Don’t let something that happened eat you up and destroy your future. Instead, think about how you can become better from it, and then make the commitment to move forward.

Love Yourself

Lastly, remember that you are who you are. Everyone is supposed to be different; it’s what makes you special. There’s no one in the world who is exactly like you and that makes you special, unique and amazing.

Talk to the people who care about you. They can help you see yourself the way they do. This can help you understand why they love you and why you should love yourself.

Heed these tips to find a renewed satisfaction in yourself, your loved ones, and your life. You’ll be glad you did!

How to Discover Purpose in Your Life and Avoid Boredom

Do you ever feel like your life has no purpose – like you’re just going from one day to the next, without really loving or hating it? If you’re in this situation, boredom is your enemy.

We all experience boredom at some point in life, and it stops us from meeting our full potential. If you want to get out of this rut and onto the fast track to success and fulfillment, you’re going to have to give up boredom. It’s time to say you’ll never be bored again!

Boredom is detrimental to your physical and mental health. It makes you feel unfulfilled, unhappy, and tired. It’s a fact – inactivity leads to more inactivity, plus it leaves you feeling empty and miserable. The cycle becomes ongoing, and you’ve got to consciously break its path.

• If you’re feeling bored and want to get out of the slump, do something – anything! It doesn’t matter what. Just get moving. If you don’t like your chosen activity, change to something else.

Boredom and Purpose

How does boredom relate to finding your purpose? It’s simple. If you’re allowing yourself to be bored, you’re putting roadblocks in the way of finding the path that will lead you to the top of your personal mountain.

It’s important to have a purpose, because that purpose will allow you to feel happy and give you a reason to get out of bed every day. It will keep you moving, active, and healthy.

• Your special purpose doesn’t necessarily have to be a career; it could be a hobby or charitable cause.

It’s also important to love what you’re doing. The ideal, of course, is to turn your life’s passion into a full time career. No matter what you’re doing, if you don’t love it, you need to find something else to pursue.

• Some people are able to pursue their passion during the time when they’re not working, because some passions may not make the best careers. For example, there are few highly paid stamp collectors.

How Do You Find Your Purpose?

How can you discover your special purpose? The answer is simple, but the process might be a tough one. You need to open yourself to all new experiences and get out there and do things. You mustn’t allow yourself to say you’re bored anymore!

• Exploring the world around you is a great way to discover your purpose or passion.

Whether you’re reading new books, exploring parts of your city you’ve never been to, or talking to people you’ve never met, you’ll discover new things about yourself, learn more about your surroundings, and experience new adventures.

New experiences have a lot to offer. They get you out of the same old mindset and into one where you have more passion and interest in the world. New encounters encourage you to try new things, develop new skill sets, and find out what you excel at.

• You can find purpose in the strangest places, so don’t rule out any activity. After all, if you try something and don’t like it, you don’t have to go back to it.

It’s having passions, and the perseverance to pursue them, that makes us stars. If you’ve been feeling like your life is empty, it’s time to fill it with some passion!

Get More Out of Life: 5 Tips to Focus on You

Do you feel like something is missing in your life? Learning to focus on you, instead of others, may be the key you’ve been seeking!

If you find that you’re comparing yourself to others and coming up short, it’s time to stop that destructive habit. Comparisons get you nowhere. Rather than leading to positive improvements, they only cause you pain and discontent.

A better choice is to focus on your own personal needs and wants. You’re a unique individual who requires a personal approach! This helps you boost your self-image because you’re focused on improving yourself and not trying to beat someone else in some uncharted race.

Learning to focus on you rather than everyone else around you can be a difficult task. Too often, we’re so used to focusing on our families and friends that we don’t even know how to begin the process of focusing on our own choices and decisions that determine our lives.

Follow these five tips to help you focus on fully enjoying your life:

1.      Devote one hour a day to “me time.” During this time, focus completely on yourself and the things you need or desire to feel strong, lovable and important. Reflect on what’s important to you. Dream big dreams and figure out small steps you can take to achieve them.

• Your  “me-time” can be anything you like it to be: take a relaxing bubble bath, go for a walk, take a nap, get a manicure, read a novel, or do something else. Anything that brings you pleasure simply for the sake of pleasure qualifies as me-time.

2.      Take care of your own physical, spiritual and health needs. Relying on someone else to meet your needs only leads to dependence and resentment. Don’t wait for someone else to do these things for you.

• You have the power within you to meet your own needs and the only way you can be truly whole is to do just that.

3.      Feed you mind and body good healthy fuels. You cannot expect your mind and body to function at their best if you don’t provide them with the fuels they need to work at full capacity.

• Feed your body good foods: fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Drink plenty of water to keep your body fully hydrated.

• Feed your mind by reading informative, well-written books, newspapers, and magazines. Choose recreational reading that builds your mind and spirit. Limit your TV watching and spend your time pursuing things that stimulate your thinking instead.
• Play board games rather than video games. Listen to music designed to stimulate your brain waves with binary beats.

4.      Spend time each day doing something you love. No matter what your hobby is, it’s healthy to indulge in a creative pastime.

• Gardening, painting, woodcarving and pottery are all hobbies that encourage your creativity while you use your hands to create something beautiful.

5.      Start a gratitude journal. Begin and end each day by listing five unique things you’re grateful for in your life. Before long, you’ll find that you spend more of your time dwelling on all the good things you have in the world rather than negative obstacles you might face.

Focusing on you helps you take the best possible care of yourself. It allows you to replenish your batteries and regain your strength so you can be fully present and engaged in the rest of your day. Use these tips to start changing your focus today, and have many happy tomorrows!