AH HA! Links of the week
Here are some interesting links for you. From how BP is still going to screw us, to publishing on your own, finding time, finding energy, money and friend philosophies.
Enjoy.
“Corporations aren’t people. They have no brains, no consciences, no capacity for intent or guilt. “
A Simple Life Change That Will Help You Live Longer And Happier
Want to Live Longer? Get Some Friends
Have You Been Creating Memorable Stories With Your Life?
July 5, 2010 by Terry
Filed under Breaking Bad Habits, Happiness, Mind
Lately I love writing about creating memories. The quality of your life is dependent on how you remember it. The quality of your life is a collection of stories interwoven together from a lifetime of memories. When you talk about the stories of your life are you feeling happy or content? Do your stories create sparks of joy? How about when you talk to yourself about your stories? Are you proud about your stories?
Sure you can stand around the water cooler on a Monday morning and talk about the BBQ or recommend what novel you are reading. But what about the stories that make your heart skip? What about the stories that tested your courage?
A friend of mine once gave me a plane ticket to fly to three cities in Europe. I landed in Zurich and was also allowed to fly to Sweden and Finland as well. It was a fabulous gift. I decided to include side trips to Italy and Estonia. A week before leaving, I took out my Let’s Go Europe book, highlighted a few choice youth hostels and took off. When I think back to that experience I’m amazed that in three weeks time I walked, took trains, ferries and flew to some incredible places.
I got lost in Italy at 1: AM searching for my youth hostel, shared my cigarettes with a Russian bus driver (I was the only customer) in Finland, and shared tea in Helsinki with a British art critique and an American improving lives of orphans in Russia. In Sweden I stayed on a 200 foot sailboat and went to a lingerie fashion show (poor me). My courage was tested a few times during that trip, but the memories will last a lifetime.
Staying in and experiencing the present moment is an amazing habit to find peace and even joy, but ultimately the overall quality of our life is governed by our memories and stories . This is your remembered self.
How do you remember yourself? Are you making life changes so that you think back upon your life with happiness and pleasure? What stores stand out in your memory? Are your glued to the Internet and television while the world passes you by?
Maybe it’s time to make new memories, and create a few new stories. There is a whole wide world to explore.
Reference: Daniel Kahneman - TED - Ideas Worth Spreading
How To Save The World – Part IV
July 2, 2010 by Terry
Filed under Lifestyle, Mind, Zen Forever
I’m regularly grateful to have experienced being a part of this beautiful blue and white planet which slowly twirls amongst a trillion stars. It is an amazing thought if you really take the time to think about it. Picture one of those photos of our planet taken from space and remember that you are actually walking upon that beautiful orb.
Doesn’t everything else seem trivial compared to that thought? We live our lives with hundreds of useless thoughts cursing through our heads everyday and tend to easily forget how truly amazing life on this planet is. Sometimes our thoughts can turn into conditioning or beliefs that lead us to acts of selflessness, cruelty or even war. By now we are all aware that we are slowly ruining our home - this planet. As an animal we have forgotten how to share this planet with not only ourselves but with all other living creatures.
I have written extensively about awareness, consciousness and living in the moment. I’ve written about meditation, conditioning and beliefs. Many times I’ve thought that people don’t give a shit about using “consciousness” to make this planet a better home. People are more concerned about what celebrity had no underwear, how to lose 20 pounds in a week, how to make a million dollars over night, or are just trying to survive. And yes I’ve been guilty of those thoughts as well.
Fortunately, over the centuries humans have overcome some astonishing challenges. The formation of civilizations, revolutionary and religious wars, plagues, great depressions …the list goes on. But now we are faced with the threat of dwindling resources, constant MacDonald’s commercials, and an ever expanding population.
Is it an iPad that will save the world? Or is it a deeper consciousness? Do we resist buying bottled water (the plastic is made from oil, the transportation of the bottles creates pollution, and they stay in landfills forever if not recycled. Birds ingest floating caps out in sea thinking it’s food and even feed it to their young with both dying a painful slow death).
I am certain that the next big evolution for mankind is consciousness and awareness. We are done with the industrial age and the informational age is only choking us. There is no time like now to think before we buy, feel empathy for all living creatures, rejoice in our planet, reduce our carbon footprint and connect with fellow human beings all around the world (hey, maybe the iPad will help after all).
Over the centuries humans have overcome some astonishing challenges. The fight to save this planet has only just begun. I haven’t placed much hope lately in our governments to make any difference. It’s been only one big slobbering orgy at the mutual feeding troughs of government, corporations and banking for years now. Each and every one of us needs to try to clean this mess up.
I hope it isn’t too late.
Are we living just to survive or are we ready to fight? Are we leaving our children a beautiful planet or an orb dying a slow and agonizing death? Are we living in nature or looking at it through the screen of an iPad?
Consciousness and awareness. The next big evolution
Now You Can Find Peace Of Mind And Meaning
June 29, 2010 by Terry
Filed under Breaking Bad Habits, Lifestyle, Mind, Zen Forever
There is my inside me and my outside me. Sometimes they seem to conflict horribly. It’s such a pain. My inside me is striving for a life of meaning and purpose, contentment and existential challenges. My outside me is paying bills, buying a new car and renovating the house. It seems lately that my outside me is controlling my inside me. I’m talking about being on a stress and consumer treadmill.
Sometimes I would love to give this all up and live simply in some country, pondering life, meditating, setting up a small foundation, walking the beach and discovering more wisdom and raison d’être.
What is stopping me? There will be no perfect time. I will just have to walk off the cliff one day and take a leap of faith.
An excellent start would be to start meditating again. Meditating helped me clear my mind, find my breath and increase a wonderful sense of inner peace. I was becoming good at living in the moment and appreciating the little things in life.
It’s a small step that has huge benefits. So the inside me is hopping off the stress and consumer treadmill I’ve found lately.
The other day I went for a mid afternoon stroll with one of the dogs in the small forest nearby. It was absolutely beautiful. The smell of earth and trees assailed my senses and it reminded me of those wonderful carefree summers as a kid. The sunlight splashed against vibrant and luminous green leaves. Small forest creatures darted amongst the plants and trees. I was perfectly in the moment throughout the entire walk. My inside me and outside me were in unspoiled harmony.
It’s too easy to fall out of good habits.
I want more of peace of mind and Mother Nature. Screw the treadmill.
Don’t you?
How An Index Card Can Change Your Life
June 24, 2010 by Terry
Filed under Breaking Bad Habits, Happiness, Mind, Zen Forever
I’ve carried around a 4 x 2 inch index card with the words “Are you being more loving today”, for a few months. By doing so and looking at it many times during the day, I’m creating a constant awareness of this new habit. Most goals or new habits fail because we start off incredibly enthusiastic at first but then fall back into the safety and security of old habits.
My values of peace, joy and even love are being reinforced by this index card. I’m less judgmental, feel more empathy and smile in public more often. When I am waiting in line I do not curse under my breath or demand my change back from a cashier with an outstretched hand and a frown on my face. I approach with a smile, a joke and open heart, and in turn I usually receive a smile back.
By having the words “Are you being more loving today”, carried in my wallet I am becoming more loving in all aspects of my life. I’m calmer and more peaceful in public, at work and with family. I am becoming more of an extrovert and feeling greater compassion.
This technique of writing down a goal or habit on an index card works for anything. Whether you wish to exercise, make new friends, lose weight, stop smoking or feel more joy. It keeps a strong awareness of what you truly wish to change at all times. If you want to exercise more it isn’t always about going to a fancy gym, it may be taking stairs or riding your bike to pick up a DVD. Reading the card reinforces the habit!
I hope you can use My Life Changes as a way to discover your purpose, values and goals in life. Now pick a goal and keep it on you at all times. Look at it many times daily. After a while it will become a part of you and the card can be tossed away. Get rid of those old habits. I dare you to try it, I’m sure you will be amazed.
Reference: The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die
If We Are Only Willing To Take A Few Risks
I left an aerospace company after being there 21 years. It would have been easy to stay and play it safe. But I had made a promise to myself that I would not retire from this company. I could not bear picturing myself receiving a gold watch, a few pats on the back and a polite shove out the door.
I had been part of a major SAP IT project for 18 months at this company during my final days. Prior to this I had been a buyer/planner for quite a few years. As the project wound down I asked if a promotion was in the works upon my return to the business. Meanwhile I also had a job interview at IBM ; however a co-worker (who treated people like crap and I despised) got that job.
After hearing, “no” about any sort of promotion - I quit.
Being no dummy, I also received a substantial severance package and a few weeks later I was at another company honing my IT skills. After a couple of more years there I landed a job at a pharmaceutical company and began yet another career change.
I’m not sure what prompted me to take these risks. Maybe it was my job interview at IBM. Perhaps it was because I had always embraced technology. Almost certainly my willingness to learn and a gutsy attitude had a part in it. I also desired to be part of a dynamic and growing business.
Are you playing it safe? Do you embrace change? Do you embrace technology?
Let me know, I’m curious.
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Do You Know Your Deeply Held Values?
June 7, 2010 by Terry
Filed under Breaking Bad Habits, Goal Setting, Mind
One of the best tools in My Life Changes is the ability to define your core personal values. Across the world, people share universal values such as honesty, compassion, loyalty, love, passion, courage and peace. Your personal values reveal what matters most to you in life. They are qualities that you admire in others and hope you live life by. As you define your core personal values you find personal motivation in them. Your values are a foundation to your life’s meaning and purpose.
Most value driven companies are the most successful in the world. Apple values innovation above almost all else, and this has led them to be the number one IT company in the world. So why aren’t you defining your own values? With clear values we make choices that lead us to behave from personal integrity and strength rather than blind emotion or societies shallow influences. If you truly seek meaning and purpose in life begin to define your personal values. My Life Changes provides the best tool on the web for this.
Please take some time to read this post by Donald Miller a terrific author who talks about defining values.
How to Discover Your Core Values and Why it Matters
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How My iPhone Makes Me Very Happy
June 6, 2010 by Terry
Filed under Happiness, Mind, Tech Talk, Zen Forever
I grew up playing pong as a kid. For those of you have no clue what pong is, it is electronic ping pong. It was two paddles and a ball bouncing off the sides of the screen. It was a life changing event. As the electronic blip of a ball would come close to my paddle, my heart would pound and with a deft flick of my wrist I would send it shooting back toward my opponent. Sometimes I would even scream or curse and my friends would cheer wildly. If I won 5 games in a row they would carry me around the house on their shoulders. Ok, that part is not true. Unfortunately, the real ping pong table grew sad and lonely downstairs. Mom would fold her clothes on it.
That was one of my first introductions into the exciting life changing world of technology. Now I have an iPhone attached to my hip and I can re-enact WWII in its entirety during my lunch hour. I also have a ping pong game on it. It looks exactly like a real ping pong table and paddles (the paddles float eerily in the air). It is creepy. But a fun creepy.
Never mind about games. Let me tell how my iPhone really makes me happy.
I listen to self development Audiobooks every morning during my drive to work. I use an accessory to plug my iPhone into the cassette deck and charge it through my lighter. The sound quality is much better than using one of those FM transmitters. Now I avoid the infuriating babble of morning radio Disc Jockeys and listen to something life changing like Pema Chodron –Don’t Bite The Hook.
Listening to audio books makes commercials on the radio disappear. No more nasty loud mouth commercials trying to convince me to buy lottery tickets, MacDonald’s or Britney Spears tickets.
Listening to a good Audiobook like- The Five Secrets Before You Die makes me calm and peaceful in traffic. When a gargantuan SUV blindly cuts me off I concentrate on the words gently flowing out of my speakers instead of tailgating the SUV across town and punching the driver in the head.
Listening to audio books makes a rainy day sunny. Ok that is complete bullshit but I thought it sounded neat when I wrote it.
There are many great uses for an iPhone but this one is my favourite. It helps me stay calm, learn and begin the day on a positive footing.
How do you love your iPhone?
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Lessons From Mom And A Life Well Lived
May 31, 2010 by Terry
Filed under Mind, Relationships
I went to the nursing home yesterday to visit my Mom. My Mom is Russian, my Dad Belgium. Mom is 86. After surviving WWII and working for the United Nations finding homes for refuges, they moved to Canada. Then after a few years they adopted my brother and then me a few years later at 24 months old.
Now, after living in the same house for over fifty years she is in a nursing home. I did not have a particularly warm and openly loving relationship with my parents. It was a strict household and even my friends were afraid of my mom with her heavy Russian accent and piercing dark look. The most important lesson I figured out later in life is that my parents cared an awful lot. They had their own way of showing love. Sometimes we get frustrated with our parents and their unreasonable rules and push for us to conform to society’s standards. But all they really wanted for me was to have a good life and grow up to be a good man. I think they succeeded.
Now I am putting a few things aside to help my Dad look after Mom. I am making sure that the orderlies follow her eating habits. I asked them to put the table and chairs in her room that are missing. I visit as much as possible. My Dad thinks that I can be a bit demanding. I can, but in a nice way.
A nursing home is not a good way for someone to live out their final days. They are away from their home, family and pets. But this is the best care we can find at the moment. My Dad cannot look after her 24/7. We do not know how much longer she has on this earth. I thought she would be gone after a few phone calls I received these past months. Some days it’s really hard to think about life and the end.
Now I put away a few of my own needs and concentrate on my families. I will not accept anything less than the best care for my Mom.
I think back to my childhood and the huge backyard garden, fresh veggies and fruit, home cooked meals every day, my bed done every morning and my Dad helping me out financially in my younger years. I think back to our picnics by the lake and my Mom and I listening to one of my Dads million stories.
I was one of the lucky ones in life. I’ve had parents that lived through frightening times, understood sacrifice, discipline and dished out tough love. I’m tougher for it.
I’m off to the nursing home now. I will see if she ate breakfast, if she is comfortable. If she is sleeping I will just sit beside her and chat with my Dad.
This isn’t a sad story or ending. It is a story about life. It is filled with many extraordinary memories. It is about a life well lived. It is about two people that came to another country after a terrible war, adopted two sons and loved life and loved them the best way they could.
I’m incredibly lucky to have been a part of it.
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How To Be Happy And Create A Lifetime Of Joy With Your Memories
May 24, 2010 by Terry
Filed under Happiness, Lifestyle, Mind, Zen Forever
Just came back from Ogunquit, Maine. I love it there. I love the quiet beach, eating fresh seafood, breathing in the crisp ocean air and talking amazing walks. Why though? The reason is that I have such warm memories of this place. And my memories tell me a story even before I walk on the beach. My future and the joy I find are largely due to my anticipation based on my memories.
I saw a whale come out of the water a few days ago and that tied in to my memory of seeing dolphin’s many years ago in Wildwood.
These memories and the anticipation that comes with them will last me a lifetime.
I’ve written about living in the now and experiencing the present moment many times. During these times I feel contentment but not necessarily joy.
Joy I find comes from remembering the incredible beauty in the stories of my life. I may have experienced stunning beauty on multiple cliffs or felt the peace and quiet of a hot summer day. I have heard the sound of waves lapping on a shore in many places. These extraordinary memories never get old.
When I think about any of these memories of my life I am truly happy and even joyful at times.
Forget about buying stuff, go out and create a lifetime of wonderful memories. That is what true joy and happiness is all about.
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