How My Moms Death Is Changing My Life

My Mom died three days before Christmas in December. It’s been difficult to write articles for the site these last few months but I managed a few here and there. She was 87 years old. She passed away in a nursing home due to complications related to a build up of fluid in her lungs.  In the past year her health declined gradually due to Alzheimer’s , dementia and a back problem which kept her confined to a wheel chair.

I will always cherish the gift of life and go for my dreams.

When a loved one dies before your very eyes, you put your life on hold. My weekends were spent arranging my schedule so I could spend time with my Mom and family. There was a continuous dark cloud over my head since I never knew when her last day would come. Now that she is gone it’s like I’ve come off auto pilot and am now living life again. Little chores that were sitting for months get done, I’m able to write, but most of all, the sun shines a bit brighter and my heart finds time to soar. Here is the thing. Don’t put off your dreams for one more day. There is no reason why you can’t take the first steps to live your dream life. Go out there and start today! You never know when life throws you a curve ball and takes the wind out of your sails. When the coast is clear, sail for the stars! Seriously, what’s stopping you?

I will save my money and always avoid stupid debts.

My Mom left an impressive estate. It isn’t millions but although she did not work, she still managed to save a good chunk of change. My parents lived a nice middle class existence. They had everything they could want, a nice home, good food, wonderful friends and a few pets here and there. The amazing thing is that while our society is spiralling into staggering debt my parents were doing the exact opposite. Instead of carrying any kind of needless debt they saved their money. Instead of paying interest on a foolish loan or Visa card they saved that money. This is such a simple yet essential financial concept. Don’t pay interest on your dumb debts, instead learn to save that money. The freedom from no stupid debts and saving that money will change your life forever.

Your parents care, it’s when they don’t care that trouble starts.

My parents were strict when I grew up. My mom is Russian and went through WWII, learned a lot of harsh lessons and saw horrible things so she had no patience for stupidity. But she was strict because she cared.  And this is the most important part of being a parent. You need to care. If you think that not caring for your kid and ignoring them will “teach them a lesson” you are on the path to losing your kid. Showing that you care and setting boundaries isn’t fun sometimes, but that is life. Kids need boundaries. Without them they become lost lambs and easy prey for others. So always show that you care. Always.

Visit your friends or have them over.

It’s proven that we are happiest when we are with our friends. Invite them over for drinks and supper. Do it on a regular basis. Life is way too short. Be happy. Be happy with yourself and with your friends. These are the moments that make life memorable.

Go From A Good Life To A Great Life!

In a World Wide Gallop poll of 150 different countries a study was conducted to see what factors came into play for us to experience a Great Life.  Interestingly enough this coincides with what the number 1 personal value members of this website are searching for. Balance.  To have a great and balanced life here are the 5 main areas of your life to focus on.  If you only work on one or two areas you won’t have a great life. To truly have a great life it takes all 5 areas.

Health

What you fuel your body with has a huge impact on whether you have a great life or only a good life.  Allowing your emotions to control your eating habits is a huge mistake, especially when try to make yourself happy with greasy hamburgers and fries. Every unhealthy meal you eat will have a negative impact on your future great life. My best tip here is to ALWAYS keep sweets and unhealthy foods out of the house so you are NEVER tempted. Ok, maybe some dark chocolate is fine. Try this for a start!

Work

Most of us spend 8 hours a day at work. These eight hours a day can have a major influence on whether our entire day will be merely good or great! To become great at work use your strengths to become the best at what you do and don’t focus on your weaknesses! Think back to your best moments and build on those. That is the best advice I can give you on work. Use your strengths!

Money

Money is nice to have but when you only accumulate things the initial joy never lasts in those objects.  What you need to buy is experiences. I’ve written about this a few times here. READ IT! Building wonderful memories for yourself with friends and family will definitely have you look back at your life as a Great Life. That fancy car you had in 1999 will not.  Spend your money wisely (and save some).

Social Network

Who we hang around with has a huge impact on how happy we will be. It’s proven that our friends or family have a huge impact on whether we eat, exercise, smoke or get fat. Maybe it’s time to take a hard look at who is in your social network and whether they are getting in the way of a great life. Get an awesome social network!

Values

I’m going to say this again. Your personal values drive you towards the life you dream of. You have to figure them out! My main value in life is freedom. Freedom from stress, from money worries, from bad health and bad luck. Whenever I think about freedom I get pumped up and I make another small step towards a life of freedom. I save that money each week, I eat my broccoli, and I have a good laugh with close friends.  Now THAT is a life free of crap and going towards great. Figure out what value or values drive you!

So there you have it. Time to make some changes. Time to create a plan and have a great life!

Powerful Blog Links To Give You That AH HA! Moment

A terrific article on how to find your natural writing style.  How to Find Your Writing Voice

Great advice based on facts  How To Get Hundreds Of Tweets And Comments On Your Blog Post

This one will really make you think about what is truly important. Why Friends Matter At Work And Life

What is your ideal day? 24 Hours In The Life Of Everett Bogue

Saying HELL YA will REALLY clear your mind   No More yes. It’s either HELL YEA or no.

Some heartfelt inspiration about my own personal journey Lessons From Mom And A Life Well Lived

Have a fabulous day!

Lessons From Mom And A Life Well Lived

I went to the nursing home yesterday to visit my Mom. My Mom is Russian, my Dad Belgium. Mom is 86. After surviving WWII and working for the United Nations finding homes for refuges, they moved to Canada. Then after a few years they adopted my brother and then me a few years later at 24 months old.

Now, after living in the same house for over fifty years she is in a nursing home. I did not have a particularly warm and openly loving relationship with my parents. It was a strict household and even my friends were afraid of my mom with her heavy Russian accent and piercing dark look. The most important lesson I figured out later in life is that my parents cared an awful lot. They had their own way of showing love. Sometimes we get frustrated with our parents and their unreasonable rules and push for us to conform to society’s standards. But all they really wanted for me was to have a good life and grow up to be a good man. I think they succeeded.

Now I am putting a few things aside to help my Dad look after Mom. I am making sure that the orderlies follow her eating habits. I asked them to put the table and chairs in her room that are missing. I visit as much as possible. My Dad thinks that I can be a bit demanding. I can, but in a nice way.

A nursing home is not a good way for someone to live out their final days. They are away from their home, family and pets. But this is the best care we can find at the moment. My Dad cannot look after her 24/7. We do not know how much longer she has on this earth. I thought she would be gone after a few phone calls I received these past months. Some days it’s really hard to think about life and the end.

Now I put away a few of my own needs and concentrate on my families. I will not accept anything less than the best care for my Mom.

I think back to my childhood and the huge backyard garden, fresh veggies and fruit, home cooked meals every day, my bed done every morning and my Dad helping me out financially in my younger years. I think back to our picnics by the lake and my Mom and I listening to one of my Dads million stories.

I was one of the lucky ones in life. I’ve had parents that lived through frightening times, understood sacrifice, discipline and dished out tough love. I’m tougher for it.

I’m off to the nursing home now. I will see if she ate breakfast, if she is comfortable. If she is sleeping I will just sit beside her and chat with my Dad.

This isn’t a sad story or ending. It is a story about life. It is filled with many extraordinary memories. It is about a life well lived. It is about two people that came to another country after a terrible war, adopted two sons and loved life and loved them the best way they could.

I’m incredibly lucky to have been a part of it.

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3 Proven Ways You Can Radically Change Your Life

There have been some fascinating news articles written lately about why we become fat, happy (or not), and have possibly stopped thinking for ourselves. Here are a few excellent ways to change your life for the better. Also please see the links below.

Educate yourself (learn about evolution) and your brain

My own journey towards truth and happiness began by reading about human beings, their evolution throughout the ages and also how the brain works. Why is salt, television, and smoking so common yet so bad for us? One reason is because we have let media or our friends (I’ll explain this later) influence us. How much time do you spend watching television and are you benefiting from it? Are all those McDonalds commercials good for you? How often do you read a non-fiction book? Do you understand why you have bad habits and addictions? Maybe it is because the brain actually rewires itself and the neurons and connections actually strengthen inside the brain as habits and addictions strengthen. There is nothing more important than picking up a book and educating yourself. I’ll give you a great link to a few good books and article.

Turn off the TV and advertisements

Where do you get your ideas and beliefs from? Do you get them from the television or the Internet?  Maybe you are becoming fatter, unhappy or lonely because you have not bothered to learn the scientific facts about obesity, happiness and relationships? Perhaps we are looking for a quick fix from the Internet (including Google solutions) or television and have learned to stopped thinking for ourselves. So shut off unnecessary social influences and start reading a book and talking to your friends. Talking to your friends is tremendously important to you. Here is why.

Make friends with similar interests

I told my friend about my love of small MacDonald’s hamburgers. I don’t eat them often but when I do they sure are yummy. My friend calls them “candy”. I think he is right, it is just white bread, a small piece of meat and a few condiments. Those small burgers are a small tasty snack but with almost zero nutrition. Almost like candy right?  So I don’t eat them as often. Studies have proven that our social networks and friends have a huge influence on us. In one study when one person becomes very fat, the spouse’s risk will increase 37 percent. If a friend became obese the risk to another friend went up 171%! So you see how our social networks and friends can influence us? Our habits and happiness are directly related to our social networks. We are people. We need each other. So our friends may make us happy but can be very unhealthy for us. Good idea to start thinking for yourself a bit more?

Click on these link for a few good book recommendations and a great article.

How To Overcome Addictions

The Buddy System:How Medical Data Revealed Secret To Health And Happiness.