Do You Make This Life Changing Mistake?

Probably the best piece of advice I’ve read lately when making life changes is to STICK TO ONE.

One what?

One life change at a time.

Pick the one life change that will have the greatest impact to your life.

The bonus is that this one life change will positively impact other key areas of your life.

If you lose weight, you become healthier and more attractive.

If you reduce your debt you also reduce your stress.

If you become happier you will become more successful and improve your social life.

Don’t ever try to lose weight, reduce your debt, become happier AND learn to play the piano. Ever.

Pick one life change and write down a few mini goals to support that one change.

If you are using the My Life Changes Tracker, define who you are, define your most important core value and then define one major goal with a deadline. Then define the mini goals that will support that one major goal.

If your core personal value is Health then decide to lose 20 pounds by January 1st 2012.

Then make it a goal to not keep sweets in the house.

Then make it a goal to plan healthy meals every Sunday.

Then make it a goal to bring fruit to work as a snack.

Turn those mini goals into habits and you are on your way.

One life change at a time. Attack the one area of your life that will have the greatest impact.

Go ahead. I’m sure you already know what it is.

Now attack it with a laser like focus.

How I Let Go Of Stress Overnight

If we want to fully let go of the endless negative chatter in your head, try following the techniques prescribed in the book – The Myth Of Stress.

The technique used in this book is called Active insight.  Active insight is about changing your beliefs that drive emotions and behaviour. Changing these beliefs brings a peace and clarity to your mind enabling you to move onto bigger and better things.

Is 100% of our stress internal?  Do we create 100% of our stress?  Yes.

This isn’t a technique that allows you to temporarily escape stress, it addresses it at the root cause.

Here is an example of an exercise I have performed.

A stressful thought that continuously pops up for me is “I should weigh less”

To rid myself of this silly stressful belief and to accept myself I  insert the following

“In reality I should not weigh less at this time because …

“In reality I should not weigh less at this time because I am not exercising daily”.

“In reality I should not weigh less at this time because I eat more than my body needs”

“In reality I should not weigh less at this time because I’m over 30 years old and as we get older we put on weight”

“In reality I should not weigh less at this time because I drink alcohol which is empty calories”

Now I don’t go around with the vague stress belief that I should weigh less.  I’ve accepted the reality as to why I don’t weigh less. I’ve accepted my life and how I got here.

Now I’m ready to move on and change instead of letting this little thought stress me almost every day.

I have insight into my biggest cause of stress. That insight was my vague belief.

Why My Brain Loves My Visa Card

As you know I’m making a huge effort to save more money and lose weight. Here is what I’m learning about saving money.

Don’t buy stuff. Don’t even go to stores. Stores are wonderfully set up to affect the emotional part of your mind.

I’ve written a few times about the emotional mind fighting the rational mind. And my solution is to shape the world around you (avoid shopping). That way your emotional mind is completely taken out of the equation.

The problem is that the emotional mind wins more often than it should. Let’s look at how Costco stores are set up. Whenever I walk into a Costco store there are beautiful flat screen televisions when you first walk in.

My first thought is “It would be great to have a second plasma TV in the bedroom. And it would only be a small one, so only $899!”

As I round the second corner there is always a display case of beautiful watches and jewellery.  I love to look at the luxury watches at great prices. Good thing I’ve learnt not to buy watches.

But the flat screen TV thought I have, comes up every time I step into a Costco.

If I bought the TV It would be a purely emotional purchase.  My rational mind (don’t need a second TV and I don’t have the cash) would severely lose out.

The good thing is that I don’t make these Costco purchases. But…

But I did buy a beautiful Hugo Boss lamb skin jacket the other month. It was marked down from $1500 to $1000 to $262. Did I need this jacket? Noooo. Was it purely an emotional purchase? Of course it was. My prefrontal cortex lost all rational reasoning. AND I used my Visa card. AND I bought a couple of lovely polo shirts. Total bill for one jacket and two polo shirts was around $400.

Whenever we consider buying anything (even cereal) it is a tug of war in between the emotional and rational sides.  That cereal is very expensive but I love it AND it’s healthy.

So the lesson here is to be very aware of what triggers you to purchase something. And be especially conscious of your financial situation. And also be aware that using a Visa card is much, much less painful than having to go out and withdraw $400 cash AND hand it over for a jacket and two summer tops.

Using a Visa card is much more abstract to the brain then using cash.

This is how my brain works. I much more aware now.   What do I do with my Visa card?

Advise To People That Don’t Lose Weight Or Never Get Wealthy

Aright! In my last post I wrote I about losing weight and get rid of some small debts.

I would love for you to follow me on this journey. I promise to inspire and motivate you.

I now weigh 210 pounds (mind you I carry this weight really well) and would like to go down to 190.

I have about 4600 dollars in silly debt which I will eliminate ASAP, but I will also create an emergency fund AND I would like to buy a second house in Florida. Woot!

Not too difficult right?

As someone who writes regularly about making life changes should be a piece of cake.   Right?

Let’ see how it goes.

I’ll give you a glimpse of what’s working and what isn’t.

So come along for the ride. I’ll be using the tracker and all the My Life Changes tools available to help me.

And if all else fails it will be time to make THE PLEDGE!!

THE PLEDGE is all tested and ready to go.

DO you need a pledge? Think about it.

Admit it ….you do.

The Secret To Making Life Changes

Willpower. Once you realize you only have so much will power everything becomes clearer. So stop beating yourself up about not being able to change.  The thing is that we only have so much will power in our mind and body to make changes. Will power runs out like a muscle that becomes tired.  It’s extremely  important to ask yourself the following questions.

During the 24 hours I have each day, what do I truly, truly, truly wish to focus on? If you find yourself eating crap, watching too much television or shopping needlessly you have run out of will power.

How do I combat information overload, constant advertising and simple distractions like mindlessly surfing on the Internet?  With will power.

So…..

What can I do to help you get more will power ?  Usually creating a vision , keeping that vision in mind and  making sure you live according to your core personal values should be enough….right?

Wrong. You need a little push from me.

You need to make a pledge to either yourself or someone else.   You will pledge money, something valuable or your self respect. And this pledge will be mandatory.  Stay tuned.

I have just given you a bit more will power.

Quite Simply, The 5 Most Important Money Rules

1. Have you ever tracked your spending habits? Are you terrified to find out what you REALLY spend your money on?  I once tracked my money habits down to the last penny for two years. I found out I was spending most of my money on miscellaneous items. Itunes, Amazon books, nice clothes, car repairs, dinners out…etc.   It’s incredibly easy to spend money on fun or emergency items. Until you actually see the facts, you have no fucking clue! Facts will help you! Stop being scared and face reality. Track your spending.

2. Hide your money and hide it well. I have repeated this a million times. Out of sight out of mind. Have part of your pay check deposited into a 401k. Make it as difficult as possible for you to extract money from your bank account. Whenever I see my bank accounts with a little extra I say, “Hey, I deserve to spend that little extra”. Justifying spending that little extra is way too easy! You will never build up a nest egg thinking this way. Hide it!

3. Live within your means. The number one rule in money is to STOP spending more than you earn. Stop using easy credit. Stop buying houses you can’t afford. Stop keeping up with your friends, family or neighbours toys.  Your ego is your biggest enemy. Live simple, live free, and live happy!

4. Find out what money means to you. Is it just there to pay your bills every pay check? Is it a way to impress your friends? Or is it a convenient way to pay for items? Are you buying stuff or are you buying experiences. Experiences can last a lifetime while stuff never does. Find out what money means to you. Control it before it controls you!

5. Hang out with your friends and appreciate nature. Turn off the TV.  Avoid advertising. Money is only paper to pay for items in your life. Life is about living each and every day with joy, meaning and happiness. You don’t need money for this. Surprised? Don’t be. Go out and meet your friends and have a great time. Did that cost a lot? No. It’s a fact that your connection with your friends brings you the most happiness in life. Paper money doesn’t even come close. Love nature and love your friends.  They will love you back. Money doesn’t.

How I Started A New Life With One Hour

There are 24 hours in a day. Once those 24 hours are up, that day will be gone forever. Then a new one starts all over. Then it is gone forever too. How are you spending each day?

The burning question is how do you spend your 24 hours? During the week, we may have 7 hours to sleep,8 hours for work, 1 -2  hours for various and traffic, 2 hours for meals. This leaves us with about 6 hours. Let’s say we exercise for 1 hour and if we have a family, 3 hours with them.

We still have about 2 hours left over.

1-2 hours to start your dream.

1-2 hours to begin your blog.

1-2 hours to meditate and relieve your stress.

1-2 hours to read self development and expand your mind.

I spend 1 hour a day on this website, writing, editing, modifying, creating and finding incredible meaning and purpose.

What is stopping you from planting the seeds of the dream life you always imagined? Why aren’t you spending an hour a day on what YOU love? Why are you giving 8 hours to a corporation and leave nothing for yourself?

It’s time to stop screwing around, wasting your time and make the life changes you want right now.

There is absolutely no excuse.

I Always Failed At Goal Setting – So I Started Reading My Life Changes

One of the key rules of great goal setting is to be specific. People may have read about this a dozen times, but they still continue to set vague goals. Let’s explain the problem with this.

If you set a goal to paint the spare room (because it will look fabulicious painted) it’s easy to set this vague goal. “Paint the spare room”

However, if you are specific and write down – I will paint the spare bedroom on Saturday morning, May 28 …well now you have set aside a time and date which further commits you to take action. Now you know that this date is for beautifying the spare room and not golfing, shopping ,snoozing, web surfing or TV.

This rule especially applies to business. If you have a large project to execute and people are counting on you, you break the project into smaller specific goals and commit to a date for each one. Or else the project will be a miserable failure.

So why shouldn’t you apply the same rules to your personal life? Your goals in your personal life are even more important.

Be specific. Commit to a date and a time.

When I designed this website I used the tracker here in its beta form and broke down each step in order to create the website. It took a few months but if I had not set specific goals and timelines this fabulous website would not exist.  : )  There had to be a business plan, design, programming, testing and support.

Now it’s your turn.  What fabulous goals or habits do you want to create in your life? What steps are required and by what date are you ready to commit yourself to?

Let’s do it.

The Real Secret To Making Life Changes.

It isn’t will power that enables people to make life changes. Most people fail at their New Year’s resolutions. They are fooled to think that they can overcome their emotional mind.

The rational mind is the one that decides that we need to lose weight or start saving money. It begins with good intentions. Lose 20 pounds, cut out sweets, and reduce your alcohol consumption.  Our rational mind always figures what is best for us in the long run.

The emotional mind is the one that usually convinces the rational mind to give up and let go. Just have that one piece of cake, I can pay my credit card off next month, one more glass of wine can`t hurt, I deserve it after a day like today.

Most of us give in to the sweet lullaby of the emotional mind and never reach our goals, especially when it comes to reducing debt or losing weight. Our emotional mind almost always finds a way for the rational mind to let go. Once the rational mind lets go the battle is lost.

So how do we fight the emotional mind?  We fight it be shaping the world around us. We fight it by fool proofing our surroundings so we aren’t tempted. Very simply if you want to lose weight don’t buy sweets from the store and keep them at home. Don’t keep your money easily available. Lock your money in a registered retirement plan and make it horribly painful to take it out. Walk past the sweets aisle. The emotional mind and temptation go hand in hand.  Eliminate temptation.

I rarely bring sugary sweets home from the grocery store. I contribute to my retirement plan each month and never touch that money.   I have shaped the world so my emotional mind cannot access my temptations. It’s the only way for me. It is probably is the only way for you. Try it. Get in the habit of fool proofing your world so your emotional mind has no options.  This is the way to making long lasting life changes.

How do we say it? Out of sight, out of mind. Pretty soon you will be losing weight and saving money. Pretty neat huh?

How To Quit A Habit Using An Index Card

I quit smoking by writing all the negative things that smoking brought to my life on a 5 x 3 index card. I then carried that card with me for many months. I took it out many times to remind me of all the terrible things that smoking brought to me and the people that I love. It was not a negative card towards me, it just simply stated the facts of how smoking was affecting my life.

I remember being in the washroom at work once and pulling out the card to again remind myself of why I had stopped smoking. Some days I pulled that card out 20 times. The interesting thing about carrying a card is that it made me pay attention to what was important to me. Whenever I felt tempted to smoke I felt the card in my pocket and was reminded of its presence.

A 5 x 3 index card can help us make many important decisions when making life changes. When I found myself having a beer and craving a cigarette, without the card I could have easily succumbed to smoking again. With the card I made a conscious decision to distract myself with a stir stick, chewing gum, or even munching on a toothpick. Again, the card made me pay attention. So whether you want to lose weight, save  money, make new friends or even find love, write it down on a card and look at that card frequently throughout the day. It will make you pay attention. Don’t beat yourself up on that card. Focus on one aspect of your life at a time. This technique has helped many people, I hope it is a life changer for you.

Related posts

How To Overcome Addiction

How To Break a Bad Habit

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