Happiness Is The Ultimate Goal

When making life changes isn’t happiness your ultimate goal? Isn’t a life filled with joy, contentment, love and those soft wonderful moments what you strive for?

Success isn’t happiness. Find happiness and success will follow right behind. Find positivity and success will be right behind. But always, always find gratitude.

All the experts are with me on this one. Gratitude is a seriously beautiful building block to everlasting happiness.

I am grateful for having a warm and furry pet to hug.

I am grateful for plenty of foods and an abundance of water.

I am grateful to live in an open and uncensored society.

Think about 3 things you are grateful about every day. Let go of the constant flow of bad news. Squash the media. Block advertising out of your life.

Find the beauty. Find your connection to nature. Love your life.

Love – The Ultimate Life Change

If one of your personal values is love and you have it as a core value in your  tracker, do you have a good definition of love?   Or is your definition just warm and fuzzy?

In Barbara Frederickson’s book Positivity she comes up with a pretty good definition.

Positivity comes in ten forms.

Joy.

Gratitude.

Serenity.

Interest

Hope.

Pride.

Amusement.

Inspiration.

Awe.

Love.

Why is love at the bottom of this list? Because if you mix all of these up in a blender… you get love.

Think about a time you felt love. At  different points in time it had most of these elements in it. When you define love as a personal value, whether love of a person or love of the world it helps to remember what makes up love.

You just may want a little of all of these positive elements in there.

Just to remind you what love really is.

Stop the Self-Sabotage – How to Love Yourself

Every day, almost everywhere we look we’re bombarded with someone else’s idea of perfection. We’re told, “You need this,” “You should wear this” and “You need to be this way or that way,” but no one tells us that we’re just fine.

In this society of “whoever has the most toys wins,” no one really does.

A perfect example of self-sabotage is the story Madame Bovary. It’s a story about a woman who has it all: a loving and devoted husband, wonderful children, a beautiful house, public standing and respect, and a family who loves her dearly.

When she was young, she went to a fancy ball at a count’s home. For the rest of her life she compared everything to that one night. Nothing she ever had was enough. She cheated on her husband and ran them into debt to fill the hole in her life that she, herself, had created.

In the end, she ruined herself and her family all because nothing was ever good enough for her.

We do that to ourselves with negative thinking about our bodies, wanting more things, and trying to make ourselves something we aren’t. We watch TV and movies and see perfection: the perfect romance and the dashing hero saving the damsel, where everyone is beautiful, heroic and perfect.

That’s fiction. We need to learn to accept ourselves and enjoy the good things we have in our own lives. That’s reality and the only way to really love one’s self.

Here are a few areas where you may be comparing yourself to others. You’ll find out how to get away from the “societal norm” so you can be on your way to loving yourself for who you are.

Your Body

Hollywood would have us think that everyone is tanned, skinny, fit and has perfect hair, teeth and skin. But it’s all a facade! You can’t compare yourself to that imagined picture of beauty.

Your personal beauty comes from inside you. Write down the things that you love about yourself. If you’re overweight and unhappy about it, then do something! Change how you eat or get out and walk a little everyday. Not everyone is a supermodel, nor is everyone supposed to be.

Your Career

If you’re stuck in a job you hate, find a new one. If your work is making you physically ill, it’s time to move on. That misery you feel will carry over to the rest of your life.

Figure out what you love doing and then find a way to get paid to do it. It’s not easy, and it might not happen overnight, but if you love what you do, your entire life outlook improves.

Your Possessions

We’re bombarded with ads for stuff and they all look so amazing. We find ourselves wanting more and more things, but do we really need them? Possessions won’t fill any personal void you have or provide you with true happiness.

What is it you’re missing in your life? Figure that out and then fill that need, but be honest and realistic with yourself about it.

Your Relationship

If you’re in a healthy relationship and you’re truly in love for several decades, then you’re very blessed. In reality, as a relationship goes on for months and years, it may not be that whirlwind of romance anymore, and you can’t always expect your partner to be breathtaking.

Yet, no matter what you see on TV, a relationship always takes work and sacrifices. Think of ways to make your relationship feel new and exciting, and take joy in the fact that you have someone who loves you.

Your Past

The past is just that – the past. You can’t do anything about the past, except learn from it. You can’t base your life around a singular event no matter how great or terrible it was. All you can do is remember and learn from it.

Don’t let something that happened eat you up and destroy your future. Instead, think about how you can become better from it, and then make the commitment to move forward.

Love Yourself

Lastly, remember that you are who you are. Everyone is supposed to be different; it’s what makes you special. There’s no one in the world who is exactly like you and that makes you special, unique and amazing.

Talk to the people who care about you. They can help you see yourself the way they do. This can help you understand why they love you and why you should love yourself.

Heed these tips to find a renewed satisfaction in yourself, your loved ones, and your life. You’ll be glad you did!

How An Index Card Can Change Your Life

I’ve carried around a 4 x 2 inch index card with the words “Are you being more loving today”, for a few months. By doing so and looking at it many times during the day, I’m creating a constant awareness of this new habit. Most goals or new habits fail because we start off incredibly enthusiastic at first but then fall back into the safety and security of old habits.

My values of peace, joy and even love are being reinforced by this index card. I’m less judgmental, feel more empathy and smile in public more often. When I am waiting in line I do not curse under my breath or demand my change back from a cashier with an outstretched hand and a frown on my face. I approach with a smile, a joke and open heart, and in turn I usually receive a smile back.

By having the words “Are you being more loving today”, carried in my wallet I am becoming more loving in all aspects of my life. I’m calmer and more peaceful in public, at work and with family. I am becoming more of an extrovert and feeling greater compassion.

This technique of writing down a goal or habit on an index card works for anything. Whether you wish to exercise, make new friends, lose weight, stop smoking or feel more joy. It keeps a strong awareness of what you truly wish to change at all times. If you want to exercise more it isn’t always about going to a fancy gym, it may be taking stairs or riding your bike to pick up a DVD. Reading the card reinforces the habit!

I hope you can use My Life Changes as a way to discover your purpose, values and goals in life. Now pick a goal and keep it on you at all times. Look at it many times daily. After a while it will become a part of you and the card can be tossed away. Get rid of those old habits. I dare you to try it, I’m sure you will be amazed.

Reference: The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die

Lessons From Mom And A Life Well Lived

I went to the nursing home yesterday to visit my Mom. My Mom is Russian, my Dad Belgium. Mom is 86. After surviving WWII and working for the United Nations finding homes for refuges, they moved to Canada. Then after a few years they adopted my brother and then me a few years later at 24 months old.

Now, after living in the same house for over fifty years she is in a nursing home. I did not have a particularly warm and openly loving relationship with my parents. It was a strict household and even my friends were afraid of my mom with her heavy Russian accent and piercing dark look. The most important lesson I figured out later in life is that my parents cared an awful lot. They had their own way of showing love. Sometimes we get frustrated with our parents and their unreasonable rules and push for us to conform to society’s standards. But all they really wanted for me was to have a good life and grow up to be a good man. I think they succeeded.

Now I am putting a few things aside to help my Dad look after Mom. I am making sure that the orderlies follow her eating habits. I asked them to put the table and chairs in her room that are missing. I visit as much as possible. My Dad thinks that I can be a bit demanding. I can, but in a nice way.

A nursing home is not a good way for someone to live out their final days. They are away from their home, family and pets. But this is the best care we can find at the moment. My Dad cannot look after her 24/7. We do not know how much longer she has on this earth. I thought she would be gone after a few phone calls I received these past months. Some days it’s really hard to think about life and the end.

Now I put away a few of my own needs and concentrate on my families. I will not accept anything less than the best care for my Mom.

I think back to my childhood and the huge backyard garden, fresh veggies and fruit, home cooked meals every day, my bed done every morning and my Dad helping me out financially in my younger years. I think back to our picnics by the lake and my Mom and I listening to one of my Dads million stories.

I was one of the lucky ones in life. I’ve had parents that lived through frightening times, understood sacrifice, discipline and dished out tough love. I’m tougher for it.

I’m off to the nursing home now. I will see if she ate breakfast, if she is comfortable. If she is sleeping I will just sit beside her and chat with my Dad.

This isn’t a sad story or ending. It is a story about life. It is filled with many extraordinary memories. It is about a life well lived. It is about two people that came to another country after a terrible war, adopted two sons and loved life and loved them the best way they could.

I’m incredibly lucky to have been a part of it.

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Stop Complaining, Whining Or Making Lame Excuses And Start Living

I have been working incredibly hard to make meaningful life changes for years. I have changed my fundamental relationship with money (I wanted to be a millionaire by 30).I have settled into two challenging careers and am content with both. I have struggled with back issues but have more or less come to terms with this. I’ve tried to build deeper and more loving ties with family and friends.

We all have life changes we want to make. The biggest life change I’ve made BY FAR is to appreciate the fact that I’ve been given the privilege to live on this blue planet, which slowly twirls around in the middle of an infinite universe. Every single day I think about this. Everything else is insignificant. Lots of money, a powerful career or fame will not bring you a deep joy or heartfelt appreciation. If you think they will you are either incredibly ignorant or our consumer driven society has continued to suck you in and spit you out.

Go take a look up at the sky. It’s going to rain whether you like it. It WILL be cloudy some days (unless you live in Arizona). There is absolutely no point in wishing otherwise. You are just wasting energy and your time hoping for a change that is beyond your control. Learn to enjoy the day and whatever the planet serves up.

The sun will rise and it will set (it only hides behind the clouds). This has not changed since the beginning of time. Enjoy this day because you will never, ever see it again. It is May 09 2010 today. At midnight this day will have passed….forever. Are you going to enjoy it? Or are you going to spend time complaining, whining or making lame excuses?

Sometimes I sit in traffic and fume after some asshole that has cut me off. If he is driving a big Mercedes SUV I may get judgmental and hope something bad happens to him…or her. But in the end these silly incidents don’t matter. I just let it go. What really matters is that I’ve been born onto this beautiful planet and have had a few years to share it with many extraordinary living beings. And even though we are seriously fucking it up with oil spills and raping the forests, I’m eternally grateful for my time here.

I look out at the sky from my car window. I picture this magnificent blue planet circling the sun with a trillion stars winking all around. I remember how damn lucky I am to experience this miracle surrounding me. I feel a deep felt joy. I hope you learn to as well.

Make a life change to enjoy every waking moment you have here. It won’t cost you a cent.

Related posts:

Choose To Be Happy

Lead A More Meaningful, Peaceful And Happy Life

6 ways To Let Go Of All Fear, Worry, And Money Stress

My path to living a life of Zen is going very well. I am realizing more and more that my inner peace is all in my mind. Here are the main steps that I have been taking to reach a life of total serenity and joy. You can follow the exact same path if you choose to.

• My mind controls my life. When I step out of my thoughts and use my conscience I realize I am in control, not my thoughts , I am more than my thoughts. I can observe my thoughts and let them go.
• I do not worry about money as much. I live in the now and do not think about what I would like to buy. I have everything I need already.
• I am finding more moments of peace throughout the day by shutting off the TV and radio in the home, car and morning shower. I do not hear advertisements for cars or MacDonald’s.
• I have found out how important it is to open my heart to love. This is one of the most important journeys to go through. This is a spiritual love, not necessary an emotional love. I choose to be a loving and accepting person.
• I am not a weak person, I have simply chosen to accept the goods and the bad in life and stopped trying to control what I can’t. I let experiences and thoughts pass through my heart before my mind attaches to them and closes down my heart.
• I ask myself each day if am becoming more free, liberated and happy.

Finding The Most Important Path: The Path Of Spiritual Love

When you truly open your heart you feel love. When you close it, the loves goes away. I’m slowly learning that my heart is an amazing energy center.

When something or someone begins to close your heart you can actually feel the negative energy flowing around it and within. Fear, anxiety and worry all affect our senses and these senses flow directly into our heart. If you resist this energy flow, your heart constricts and fights. When you open your heart to the world, the energy can pass right through it. And because the energy passes through it you begin to live in the moment more. Negative energy does not get “stuck” in your heart, thus sending your mind into a state of useless thoughts. You begin to accept life and also open up to all its wonders.

Now each and every moment in life is lived with an open heart. Every encounter with people in life is met with a positive energy which flows through the heart. Each encounter in traffic is met with grace and an acceptance. The world is viewed through a new lens.

Once you stop closing your heart your mind becomes free of fear, anxiety and conditioned thoughts. This is the path towards freedom and happiness.

I now carry an index card with the words written on it, “Was I more loving today?” “Was I more loving to myself today?

This is the path towards spiritual enlightenment. This is the path towards spiritual love.

Related posts you might enjoy

How To Quit A Bad Habit Using An Index Card

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How I Am Learning To Live My Best Life

Opening my heart and finding beauty

I was not brought up in an emotional household. My parents were very strict and unforgiving. Years later I realized that this was the way they cared. Better to have strict parents than parents that don’t care. The worst thing a parent can do to a child is not care. Children want to know that their parents care for them in some way shape or form. I know my parents cared. Now years later, I am on my own spiritual path. I am on a path to open up my heart and to be totally free. I want to be free of worry, doubt, envy and fear. I want to find beauty in all of life’s simplest of moments. I want to live each and every moment to the fullest. Tonight I was watching the sunset turn the sky into ribbons of a deep salmon color. It was one of those beautiful “ah ha” moments. This is what life is all about. Letting go of all those illogical worries and loving my short time on this earth. I want to embrace each moment and open my heart to all of them. Always.

Opening my heart before my mind reacts.

As I drive across the bridge in the morning, I sometimes click off the Audio book I’m listening to and drive in silence. I then hear the soft thumping of the tires on the bridge struts. As my mind quiets I watch the soft, grey morning clouds float off the top of the skyscrapers. I watch the golden rays of sunshine reflect off a thousand window panes, creating a magical splash of vibrant gold across the city. If a driver cuts me off, I feel my heart contract and begin to close. Before my mind reacts I allow my heart open again and let the moment go. I am too much in love with this morning and this life to allow my heart to close and have my mind react negatively. It is going to be a magnificent day. I only have a short time on the earth. This is my path. I am on it now, there is no going back.

Peace

See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out

It was a beautiful day
Don’t let it get away Beautiful day

U2

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The #1 Goal In My Life

I am seeking permanent serenity, joy and happiness. It isn’t always easy. Becoming enlightened means we have to let go of all the conditioning, worries and ego that we carry with us every day. It requires that we accept life as it is and stop struggling against it. We slowly learn how to tear down all the walls that protect us and to let the light shine in. We learn how the heart reacts to life and then the mind afterwards, creating unnecessary pain, insecurity and worry. We learn how to not react and to not keep the pain inside of us. We also learn to accept suffering, instead of avoiding it and move on. We learn to let it all go. We learn to use our consciousness. We learn to be truly happy.

I read that we are one spinning planet of water and dirt spinning around a star, amongst hundreds of billions of stars in our own Galaxy. Sometimes I look up at the sky and think about that. It seems that everything else is trivial compared to that thought. Should I be that concerned about what people think about my clothes or car?

I am learning to accept everything life has to offer. My time is limited on this planet. I want to spend the rest of it experiencing freedom, joy, peace and love. I hope you choose to join me.

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