Have You Been Creating Memorable Stories With Your Life?

Lately I love writing about creating memories.  The quality of your life is dependent on how you remember it. The quality of your life is a collection of stories interwoven together from a lifetime of memories. When you talk about the stories of your life are you feeling happy or content? Do your stories create sparks of joy? How about when you talk to yourself about your stories? Are you proud about your stories?

Sure you can stand around the water cooler on a Monday morning and talk about the BBQ or recommend what novel you are reading. But what about the stories that make your heart skip? What about the stories that tested your courage?

A friend of mine once gave me a plane ticket to fly to three cities in Europe. I landed in Zurich and was also allowed to fly to Sweden and Finland as well. It was a fabulous gift. I decided to include side trips to Italy and Estonia. A week before leaving, I took out my Let’s Go Europe book, highlighted a few choice youth hostels and took off. When I think back to that experience I’m amazed that in three weeks time I walked, took trains, ferries and flew to some incredible places.

I got lost in Italy at 1: AM searching for my youth hostel, shared my cigarettes with a Russian bus driver (I was the only customer) in Finland, and shared tea in Helsinki with a British art critique and an American improving lives of orphans in Russia. In Sweden I stayed on a 200 foot sailboat and went to a lingerie fashion show (poor me). My courage was tested a few times during that trip, but the memories will last a lifetime.

Staying in and experiencing the present moment is an amazing habit to find peace and even joy, but ultimately the overall quality of our life is governed by our memories and stories . This is your remembered self.

How do you remember yourself? Are you making life changes so that you think back upon your life with happiness and pleasure? What stores stand out in your memory? Are your glued to the Internet and television while the world passes you by?

Maybe it’s time to make new memories, and create a few new stories. There is a whole wide world to explore.

Reference:  Daniel Kahneman - TED - Ideas Worth Spreading

Lessons From Mom And A Life Well Lived

I went to the nursing home yesterday to visit my Mom. My Mom is Russian, my Dad Belgium. Mom is 86. After surviving WWII and working for the United Nations finding homes for refuges, they moved to Canada. Then after a few years they adopted my brother and then me a few years later at 24 months old.

Now, after living in the same house for over fifty years she is in a nursing home. I did not have a particularly warm and openly loving relationship with my parents. It was a strict household and even my friends were afraid of my mom with her heavy Russian accent and piercing dark look. The most important lesson I figured out later in life is that my parents cared an awful lot. They had their own way of showing love. Sometimes we get frustrated with our parents and their unreasonable rules and push for us to conform to society’s standards. But all they really wanted for me was to have a good life and grow up to be a good man. I think they succeeded.

Now I am putting a few things aside to help my Dad look after Mom. I am making sure that the orderlies follow her eating habits. I asked them to put the table and chairs in her room that are missing. I visit as much as possible. My Dad thinks that I can be a bit demanding. I can, but in a nice way.

A nursing home is not a good way for someone to live out their final days. They are away from their home, family and pets. But this is the best care we can find at the moment. My Dad cannot look after her 24/7. We do not know how much longer she has on this earth. I thought she would be gone after a few phone calls I received these past months. Some days it’s really hard to think about life and the end.

Now I put away a few of my own needs and concentrate on my families. I will not accept anything less than the best care for my Mom.

I think back to my childhood and the huge backyard garden, fresh veggies and fruit, home cooked meals every day, my bed done every morning and my Dad helping me out financially in my younger years. I think back to our picnics by the lake and my Mom and I listening to one of my Dads million stories.

I was one of the lucky ones in life. I’ve had parents that lived through frightening times, understood sacrifice, discipline and dished out tough love. I’m tougher for it.

I’m off to the nursing home now. I will see if she ate breakfast, if she is comfortable. If she is sleeping I will just sit beside her and chat with my Dad.

This isn’t a sad story or ending. It is a story about life. It is filled with many extraordinary memories. It is about a life well lived. It is about two people that came to another country after a terrible war, adopted two sons and loved life and loved them the best way they could.

I’m incredibly lucky to have been a part of it.

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How To Be Happy And Create A Lifetime Of Joy With Your Memories

Just came back from Ogunquit, Maine. I love it there. I love the quiet beach, eating fresh seafood, breathing in the crisp ocean air and talking amazing walks. Why though? The reason is that I have such warm memories of this place. And my memories tell me a story even before I walk on the beach. My future and the joy I find are largely due to my anticipation based on my memories.

I saw a whale come out of the water a few days ago and that tied in to my memory of seeing dolphin’s many years ago in Wildwood.

These memories and the anticipation that comes with them will last me a lifetime.

I’ve written about living in the now and experiencing the present moment many times. During these times I feel contentment but not necessarily joy.

Joy I find comes from remembering the incredible beauty in the stories of my life. I may have experienced stunning beauty on multiple cliffs or felt the peace and quiet of a hot summer day. I have heard the sound of waves lapping on a shore in many places. These extraordinary memories never get old.

When I think about any of these memories of my life I am truly happy and even joyful at times.

Forget about buying stuff, go out and create a lifetime of wonderful memories. That is what true joy and happiness is all about.

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The Happiness Recipe - Attitude, Memories, and Authentic Communication

I’ve done an enormous amount of research on happiness over the years and it is a subject I am continually fascinated by. Human beings are already such incredibly complex creatures. Add on the ever-evolving technological and materialistic age we live in, and happiness seems to become more and more elusive. So what can we do to create more bliss in our busy lives? Here are three happiness nuggets I’ve discovered over the years.

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